Honourables versus dishonourable, by Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi

2026-03-08 - 01:07

The video was hard to watch. There was a woman who had been battered so badly, both eyes were shut and there were several multi-coloured bruises all over her face. There were voices in the background, with a woman narrating what had happened to the injured person. In the video, it was said that the woman’s husband had not shown any remorse. He refused to pay for her to go for treatment. She was a mother of four children, and she had miscarried two pregnancies due to constant beatings. She also had a stillbirth at some point. Later, images of what the woman really looks like started to circulate, next to what she looks like now. The alleged perpetrator is Mr Ovat Agbor (I will shelve the title Honourable for now), representing Obubra 1 State Constituency in the Cross River State House of Assembly. Mrs Glory Agbor looks lovely in the first photograph – bright eyes, clear skin, confident pose. That was before her dignity was stripped away from her by her own husband and she ended up looking like she had been run over by a bus. This case would ordinarily have been business as usual, another irresponsible husband laying hands on his wife in a domestic (or sometimes public) dispute. The matter of the Agbors is however not ordinary. Mr Ovat Agbor is a public figure, representing a constituency in his State House of Assembly. He occupies his seat courtesy of the thousands of voters who placed their trust in someone they believed had the right amount of integrity to lead them. Mr Agbor’s honourable colleagues at the Cross River State House of Assembly decided that his actions reflected badly on them. Under the leadership of the Speaker of the House, Honourable Elvert Ayambem, Mr Agbor was suspended indefinitely, pending the outcome of an investigation into the matter. This is where things took a strange but predictable turn. Even though she was silent and nodding her head in agreement while the video showing her state was being recorded by sympathisers, she has now backtracked. Glory Agbor has since issued a statement to claim that nothing is amiss between her and Ovat Agbor. According to her, ‘some people had tried to paint the name of my family in a bad light, but I stand here to vehemently debunk that view against my family and state it clearly that my husband and I are at peace with each other. Even though issues arose, we have been able to amicably resolve our differences...........................I wish to use this medium to apologise to my dear husband Hon Ovat Agbor and my entire family over these misconceptions against him’. It has been claimed by some commentators that it was not Glory Agbor who issued the statement, that her phone was taken away from her by family members and they have been posting on her behalf. I hope that the investigation that has been called for will look into this as well. There are two possible scenarios. One is that of a badly beaten woman, who can barely see because of her injuries, who has her phone taken from her by those desperate to do damage control. The second scenario is where the victim is threatened by her abuser and other collaborators to do the damage control herself or face a worse fate. Neither of these two scenarios serve the interests of the victim. Not only has she been battered by her husband, she is now being coerced and shamed into making excuses on his behalf and even apologizing for her many injuries. There is also another dimension. Apparently, some of her colleagues who are members of the Cross Rivers State House of Assembly Wives Association tried to help her in some way. She has now thrown them under the bus and resigned from the association. There is nothing new about the case of the Agbors. Every day, women all over the world are beaten by their husbands, even boyfriends and fiancés. The abusers make apologies, buy gifts and swear never to do it again. Till the next time, and there is always a next time. When victims try to confide in family and friends, they are asked, ‘what did you do to provoke him?’ Sometimes they are offered help, but they refuse and claim that ‘he has promised to change’. They hardly ever change, maybe just two out of ten, and I think I am being generous. Victims of domestic violence are not only terrorised by their partners, they are deliberately isolated from those who might be able to help. Mrs Agbor has now stepped out of a circle of women who were probably doing their best to protect her. Now she will be left to her own devices. March 8th is International Women’s Day, and it will be commemorated around the world throughout the month of March. While we acknowledge progress and opportunities for women over time, it is depressing to note that we are forever taking ten steps forward and five back. In Nigeria, we have made gains such as legal and policy frameworks for women’s empowerment, access to education, large numbers of women in the civil service and private sectors and the critical role of women in the creative industries. We however have millions of women living in poverty, millions of children, mostly girls, are out of school, harmful traditional norms and practices persist, and there is a serious underrepresentation of women in political governance. One of our major gains has been the Violence Against Persons Prohibition Act of 2015, which has now been domesticated in all thirty-six States of the federation. Laws are only useful if they are implemented, so we still struggle with turning this big gain into a win for most Nigerian women who need the protections that this law offers. This is why the case of Mr Ovat Agbor cannot be swept under the carpet as usual. As a lawmaker, Mr Agbor was either one of the Cross Rivers Assembly members who domesticated the law in his State, or at least his predecessor did. Mr and Mrs Agbor are at liberty to make peace with one another, but Mr Agbor needs to answer for his crimes of breaking the law. If our lawmakers cannot be trusted to serve as role models, then why should we be surprised that there is so much impunity which creates a cycle of suffering. Throughout the month of March, there will be seminars, webinars, lectures, radio programs, exhibitions, fire-side chats, awards ceremonies, marches and more. I will be taking part in a number of them myself. We however, need to ask ourselves some questions as we participate in these events or simply observe news coverage of them. Are we serious about the dignity of women? Are we prepared to truly commit ourselves to seeing a better world for women and girls? Do we accept that women deserve to be heard? Can men truly be allies who stand by women and not serve as obstacles to their success? Do we believe that the life of a girl is as valuable as that of a boy? Are we not sick and tired of seeing women being raped, beaten, battered and abused every day? Are we prepared to challenge the social norms and beliefs that make the abuse of women possible and permissible? I would like to appeal to the Cross Rivers State House of Assembly Wives Association. Thank you for your support and solidarity with your colleague. Please do not abandon your sister. Whatever you do, you are not doing it for her, you are doing it for yourselves. She needs you. I am sure you would not want to gather for her funeral. This goes for all women out there who know a Mrs Agbor. Be there for her, hold her hand, take her for treatment, fundraise for her and help her get back on her feet. If she disowns you as Mrs Agbor did to her circle, don’t take it personally. She is not the one talking, it is patriarchy hijacking her voice. Please do not be discouraged from helping the next woman. Even in the face of ingratitude, do it anyway. Women are not women’s worst enemy, it is patriarchy. Together, we can stand in solidarity and dismantle whatever we can. Men who believe in a better world for women are encouraged to join us too. During the month of March, do something to put a smile on a woman’s face. It could be paying school fees, rent, business support, a women’s shelter, empowerment tools, in whatever way you can, stand with women this month. The wheels of oppression will keep turning, but we will keep pushing back. Happy International Women’s Month. •Bisi Adeleye-Fayemi is a Gender Specialist, Leadership Coach, Policy Advocate and Writer. She is the Founder of Abovewhispers.com, an online community for women. She can be reached at BAF@abovewhispers.com